My wife Melissa and I just came back from Ocean City, MD, where I was invited to minister for Son Spot Ministries. Upon our arrival, I wondered what my heavenly Dad wanted me to do this year – The 18th year in a row that I’ve been invited to minister there in Word and Music. Every year, and I mean every year had been different, and I was excited to discover what Dad had for me to do this year.
After unpacking our bags, Melissa and I decided to walk up to the Boardwalk. We purchased two Polish Ices and sat on one of the benches, looking at the ocean view. It was an amazing time together, reflecting on how blessed we are and how good God really is.
You see, for the past year and a half our marriage had been strenuous, and I have been struggling at times to understand why this was happening to us. Why would our heavenly Dad allow this division to come between her and I? After all, had I not fed the poor, prayed for the sick, visited the ones in prison, all in Your name, Dad? Was this necessary? I’m not complaining… if anything, I’m grateful You brought us through this because You are truly good all the time. But I was still asking why.
This is what I heard from God: There had been and still are some items within me that I needed to relinquish to Him. There are items that I had to get over. In other words, I needed and still need to come to the end of myself and realize that Dad does not want 99 ½% - He wants all of us. Until self is under control and Jesus is on the throne in life, I am powerless where heaven is concerned. His power only comes with relinquishment. In Proverbs 11:24 it says, “One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly but comes to poverty.”
It was the last day at Son Spot that I realized something – When I come to the end of myself – the end of my road, that’s when I drive up into Dad’s front yard. It was after the last service I did there that a flood of folks came up for prayer, and as I started to lay my hands on those for whom I was praying, something within my spirit was taking place. All the valleys that my heavenly Dad has brought me through, and the traumatic events throughout my life were not so much just for me, but maybe were for others like the youth, the recovery people, and those for whom I was praying in Ocean City. Maybe my yesterdays have been for someone else’s today!
Isn’t that what God did to Moses (Exodus 2,3)? He led Moses, the Prince of Egypt and a murderer, into the desert of relinquishment. Wasn’t it there that Moses learned many of the things he needed to lead Israel through Sinai? I bet you Moses wasn’t clicking his heels and singing “Zippidy do dah” about going back to Egypt with those bad memories. I bet he wanted to have a pity party, but no one would have shown up but the devil.
I know all about pity parties. When I came back to PA from California, I was kicking and screaming and trying to have a pity party, but no one showed up but the devil and temptations. I had to relinquish to God.
King David was familiar with pains of relinquishment. In Psalm 23:4 he says “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me.”
As I was praying for the men, women, and children that came to me in Ocean City last week, I was receiving also from the relinquishing that has taken place with me – transforming my strengths into weakness and my weaknesses into strengths.
At the end of the service I shared a song: Here I am. I am convinced that will never find out who we are until we say to our Heavenly Dad “Here I am” I’m learning that I need to offer myself first instead of trying to find out what God wants first and then deciding whether or not I am able or willing!
Dad wants unconditional “Here I am.” He wants me to relinquish myself, then He can release His power in my life. Maybe that’s what Luke 22:42 is saying, “Father, if You be willing, remove this up from me; nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done.”
Photo Credit - Jyn Meyer
